Another MPreg! Are you kidding!
by Whirlpool of Madness
Summary: First written by Whirlpool and Ami now written just by Whirlpool, Bakura and Marik will have to undergo the most terrible of all problems! The overactive imagination of a fangirl's fanfiction account! Please Review!
1. Chapter 1: Consider it a Prologue

**A/N- Collaboration with AmiLearntobeLonely. A troll fic? From Whirlpool and Ami? What is this? Never! Anyways, so we're getting tired of reading bad m-preg fics. So Whirlpool was like, "LET'S MAKE A CRACKISH TROLLISH WEIRDISH THIEFSHIPPISH GENRELESSISHISHISHISH FANFICTION!" Obviously, that's Whirpool for 'ya. If ever in need of an anti-social person who talks to statues, just go find her. So, we started hatching a plot...and this is the plot's product. Not that anyone cares about the story and how we came up with the ideas for this, you just want to read the actual fic, don't you? Alright, alright. By the way, this isn't trolling grammar or anything, because neither of us can handle writing terrible grammar. Just crazy ideas about m-preg. I think I've personally read three or four sensible m-pregs in all of fanfiction. Signing out, Ami.**

Not too long ago, in the far away land of Japan, four young men lounged in their college dorm, looking bored. Or rather, three of the four. The fourth, whose name happened to be Melvin, was wandering the halls of the gradually darkening school, looking for a classroom, or perhaps the girls' dorms, to sleep for the night. He preferred to stay clear of his roommates at night.

Which was probably a smart decision as two of his roommates were dating and did a little more than just regular goodnight kisses, so to speak. Poor Ryou, who happened to be the most polite of the bunch didn't have anywhere else to sleep and often walked in on most unusual sights. He had soon learned that leaving during such times would make his life and mind not rot away in utter mind scarring situations.

"So, are you gonna be 'not here' or 'here' tomorrow?" Marik asked Bakura, his boyfriend. Bakura snorted and sat on his bed, sporting a wide grin.

"'Not here, of course."

Ryou frowned. It was funny at the beginning of the year, he had to admit. But now, several weeks had gone by and Bakura's little 'game' hadn't ended. Because of his major in Underwater Basket Weaving, Bakura had no teacher, and therefore turned in attendance himself.

"Hasn't anyone become suspicious at all, Bakura? You hand in the attendance and then you are absent, doesn't anyone ever ask any questions?" Ryou asked in the polite way that only he could muster.

Bakura looked away from Marik and to Ryou, "Actually, the attendance office did ask me about it."

"What did you say?" Marik asked, holding back the soon to erupt laughter.

"Well, naturally, I had a very good reason." He paused for dramatic effect. "I said I was on _maternity _leave."

"Pffttt!" Ryou slapped his hand over his mouth, trying to suppress the erupting laughter inside him. When he had control over himself, he frowned at Bakura. "That was very wrong of you, Bakura! Shame!" He even shook his finger to emphasize his words.

"I don't care, you know it was funny, Ryou." Bakura stated, with an amused expression as Ryou almost went through another fit of laughter, only barely retaining a straight face in the end.

"Well, Bakura..."Marik said, gaining the attention of the room, "I got an _A_ on my test today!" Marik held up a crumpled sheet of paper with tons of answers written on it and an _A_ written in the cliché red ink. He then grinned and glomped Bakura on the bed, making springs creak. Both boys started laughing. Ryou just rolled his eyes and turned to his textbooks. However, the giggling from across the room did not cease and soon enough, Marik and Bakura rolled off the mattress and onto the floor. Bakura looked at Marik and brushed the bangs out of his face and behind his ear. They then leaned in towards each other-

Ryou slowly flipped a page in his textbook and then looked up in shock. _Oh, no! The author has turned to me for this part. That can only mean one thing, _he thought. _Bakura and Marik are..._

Ryou closed his book and quickly got his keys and left the door, making sure to close the door behind him. He sighed in relief when he got out into the dorm halls. _When the authors turn to me, it's _never_ a good thing._

He walked purposefully down the halls, heading towards the entrance and paused. An old friend of his, Tristan, stood in front of a door, draped over a mailbox. _Now, why would he have a mailbox that's meant to go outside, just outside of his dorm room?_

"Hi, Ryou! Me an' my honey here are back together!" The young man grinned at the shocked hikari.

"Erm-"

"Not to worry, Ryou, she has forgiven me for the miscarriage! We have decided to start our relationship anew!"

_Poor Ryou. Poor, poor Ryou._

**A/N**-**This is WhirlpoolofMadness and AmiLearntobeLonely, signing out! We only ask that you review because it will make us happy, and happy authors mean more will be written! Those who review will receive ice-cream. Flamers will be hugged …by Melvin…**


	2. Chapter 2: Breaking News Update!

**A/N: As people know, I, Whirlpool have been writing this with Ami. She stopped writing to me again and I got impatient so now I decided to write the rest by myself. I have written where Ami stopped writing in this chapter.**

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><p><em>One Month Later...<em>

It was six 'o'clock am in the morning. The albino hikari had stopped his alarm clock and tried to get his roommates to wake up. "Come on! Wake-up! We have class in an hour!"

Marik looked around groggily while sitting upright in his bed, "Can't I sleep in more?" he murmured before putting lavender comforters over his head.

"I thought you might want some breakfast…" Ryou whispered loud enough for the roommates to hear. Then he saw Bakura's bed empty, and sighed. "Marik, is Bakura in your bed again?"

"Fluffy wasn't feeling good, so I hugged him to sleep," Marik's head poked up from the covers and patted the lump beside him, where a few stray white hairs were sticking out.

"You- never mind. Why wasn't he feeling well?"

Marik yawned and shook his head. "I don't know. He just said his stomach hurt."

Ryou frowned as he gathered his things together to grab a quick bite and head to his first class. That's odd. I've never known Bakura to be sick before...

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><p>Ryou sat at the table that Melvin had rightfully claimed for the foursome by sticking the Millennium Rod into its center. People gave it questionable looks but Ryou had soon found himself used to the strange expressions he received by other students, after all, he was an albino rooming with a gay couple and a deranged psychopath who called him a kitten and resorted to stroking the so called kitten's hair in times of stress or any time in general really.<p>

It was only at that point that Melvin, or the deranged psychopath, came into the cafeteria and fell into his own schedule. He walked behind Ryou and stroked the said albino's long white air while reaching towards the lunch tray Ryou had and grabbing an apple. He sat next to the still shivering albino while taking a large bite out of the red apple. As he did, Marik and Bakura walked into the cafeteria.

(This is where Ami stopped writing and I got impatient waiting for her and decided to complete the chapter myself.)

Marik was like his normal, childish self. He sat down at the table across from Ryou and patted the spot next to him for Bakura all the while talking about something that probably has no relevance to this fan-fiction and the author was just too lazy to make something up. Bakura nodded to whatever Marik was saying but he obviously was not really listening to his Egyptian counterpart. What made Ryou worried was that Bakura looked ill. If there was a person to tell the forecast of Bakura's looks at the current moment, the forecast would be as follows; today he is overtired with a slight chance of scattered migraines. "Bakura, are you feeling okay?"

At that point, something snapped, "Do _**I**_ feel okay? No, Ryou, I feel great! I feel bloody brilliant! I could run a bloody mile then skip through meadows of putrid butterflies while singing Zip-A-Dee-Do-Da!"

The entire group stopped their eating and idle chit-chat to look at the now panting Bakura. "Wow." Melvin said, breaking the silence.

The albino yami rested his head on his arms in exhaustion. Marik tried to comfort his boyfriend by rubbing his back, "Are you hungry, 'Kura?"

"I don't know." He mumbled.

Ryou stood from the table still a little shaky from being yelled at, "I'll get him a plate but he should probably stay in his dorm today, he looks really sick."

Marik okayed the advice and kept to calming down Bakura. Finally, a tray was placed in front of Bakura. "Well, eat up, I've got to run. Don't want to be late!" Ryou stated sheepishly while pointing at his watch then leaving and making the group drop to three.

All the while, Melvin was intently watching Bakura, probably hoping for another outburst. Marik picked up a bagel and tore off a small portion and put it in front of Bakura's face. "Come on Fluffy, just a little nibble?" Marik asked in his nasally voice.

Bakura shakily took the offered piece of bagel and took a few small bites. "Good, Kitty, see? Then you can go to bed and rest…" Marik murmured in Bakura's ear.

Melvin seemed to lose interest in Bakura fast so he got up, "I'm going to go buy some ice cream." He announced while leaving.

Marik nodded while keeping most his attention on Bakura, "Are you feeling better?"

Bakura looked at Marik with half lidded eyes, "Not really, I think I-" Bakura's eyes widened as he clutched his stomach, "I think I'm going to-" The albino got up and ran to a nearby public restroom.

Marik ran after him, very concerned now and gaining the attention of several students in the cafeteria. He found Bakura in a stall that was not even closed, and by the sound of it, he was puking his guts out. Marik knew this was not good, even with his little experience he had in the world outside the tomb he spent his childhood in. So he did what he could to help by pulling Bakura's long white hair up and closing the stall door behind him. After what felt like hours, Bakura stopped vomiting and used some toilet tissue to wipe his face and disposed of it in the toilet, "My mouth tastes horrible." He stated, his voice sounding scratchy.

Marik pulled Bakura into a hug, "You hardly ate anything; I don't know what you could have thrown up!" he exclaimed while rubbing small circles on Bakura's back.

Bakura never knew he would find himself in Marik's arms while sitting on the dirty tiled floor of a public restroom after throwing up, he nuzzled deeper into the blond's chest. Marik decided to continue talking, "I think we should bring you to a doctor."

Marik had never been pushed away by anyone so fast, "No! I'm not seeing any doctor!" Bakura shouted in a deep panic.

Marik knew exactly why too, after Bakura had gotten his own body Ryou insisted that he be taken to a doctor for health records and Melvin should be brought along too. Bakura was alright with the ordeal at first but when the Doctor began asking questions he grew nervous and the shots he had to get did not help to ease his worry. The clinic ended up strapping him to a bed and giving him sedatives to get all the shots in his system. Marik looked into Bakura's red-brown eyes, "Look Bakura," he said in one of his rare moments of maturity, "We can stay in the dorms, where you may grow worse and incurable, or we can bring you to a doctor and get you some medicine so you can get better with the help of people whose profession is getting people better."

The albino sighed in defeat, "I guess… we go to the doctors then." He leaned in putting his forehead on Marik's shoulder, "But you better stay with me so you don't get lost." He added quickly in a mere whisper.

Marik knew this meant 'So I'm not alone with those white-coated, idiot mortals who can't keep their hands to themselves,' or something along those lines.

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><p>Marik ended up driving Bakura to the clinic as soon as they exited the bathroom since he decided his boyfriend was a tad more important than his classes for the day. He drove Ryou's car since he knew motorcycles with side cars and sick people didn't really match. Also, that Ryou probably would not mind as the car would be used for good and not one of the many evil schemes he and Bakura came up with on a daily basis. Bakura sat in the passenger seat of the light blue, used mini-van, holding a bucket in his hands in case he felt the need to throw up again. He clutched his stomach several times which told Marik to slow down.<p>

Once the couple finally arrived at the clinic and were parked a short distance from the exit, Marik waited for Bakura who was still clutching his stomach. "Marik… Do we really have to go?" He moaned.

The Egyptian took one of Bakura's hands, "Honestly, no, but I really think we should. I want you to get better quick, and the doctor can do that." Marik squeezed his boyfriend's hand in reassurance.

"Okay."

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><p>Being that the two did not schedule an appointment and Bakura was famous at the clinic for being the one who ran out of the room during his appointment and punching several nurses, his wait was rather long. Marik stayed sitting next to Bakura in the pale brown waiting room, trying to calm the rising fears of Bakura's before mentioned, white-coat phobia. Bakura seemed tired still so Marik allowed his whited haired friend to lay his head on his shoulder. A nurse walked into the room and glanced at her clip board, "Bakura?"<p>

Marik nudged Bakura, "Come on Fluffy, that is you."

Bakura whispered to Marik, "Maybe if we stay very still, she will go away…"

Marik sighed and stood up, "Get up, Kitty."

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><p>The nurse led the boys to another room. It was smaller and had a couple of chairs and a small bed with paper across it. Bakura sat down and it made a crunching noise, he stared across him and saw a counter with a sink and cabinets built in. Marik took the wheelie chair that was meant for the doctor and spun around in it, much like the child at heart he was. Bakura decided after waiting a while to lie down on the bed, this tired symptom was really annoying him but he refrained from showing his irritation as he made more crunching noises and found himself lying on his back staring at the dull ceiling in the room. He ended up closing his eyes and taking a nap. Marik only thought it seemed funny that his Kitty was napping, like a cat. He almost wished the doctor had taken longer to get to them so Bakura could get some well needed rest, but he could not stop the three sharp taps on the door and the doctor walking in to raise an eyebrow at the platinum blond Egyptian who was spinning in his chair. "Um, hello." He said to Marik.<p>

Marik waved, "Hi!"

The doctor deadpanned as his greeting did not get the desired effect of Marik moving from his chair, "Could you please get off my chair?" He asked in a polite manner.

"I see no label saying that this is your chair and not anyone else's chair, Dr. Um," Marik glanced at the white coated man's name tag, "Zorens?"

The doctor was not amused, "That will be Doctor Fredrick Zorens to you."

Doctor Fredrick Zorens decided to pull out a chair that was meant for a person that was brought with a patient, a chair that Marik should have sat in, and sat down repositioning himself several times out of discomfort. "Now…" Dr. Zorens looked up to the bed where Bakura rested, "That is Bakura I presume?"

Marik nodded, "You presume well, Fred." He added following by sliding himself in the wheelie chair across the small space of the room with a whoosh.

The doctor looked annoyed yet somewhat happy that this nuisance was not his patient, he then proceeded to getting up and gently shaking the albino awake. Bakura's eyes sprung open and glared at the doctor. Doctor Fredrick Zorens was truly regretting his getting of a Doctor's Degree at this point. "What?"

"Well, I, um, am your, uh, doctor, and I have to ask some questions." The doctor rambled on, running a trembling hand through his slowly graying chestnut hair.

Bakura slowly rose into a sitting position grabbing at his stomach that felt like it had turn into a ballet dancer with how many spins it seemed to be doing. He was flinching from the small tinges of pain, and surprisingly for the doctor, Marik got up from the entertainment that was a wheelie chair and helped Bakura by lifting him up by the back. After the pain had faded from Bakura's face Marik sat back down in the wheelie chair and begun to spin once more. The doctor took this as his hint to begin his questions, "So, you have been feeling lots of abdominal pain as of recently?"

The former thief king still looked to not be trusting of the doctor at all and he just nodded trying to get all his senses on high alert.

"Um, okay," Dr. Zorens thought the entire moment seemed strange but wrote down some notes anyways, "and when did the pain seem to start? Was it a gradual increase of pain?"

Bakura knew he would have to answer verbally, "…a week ago… and the pain was… gradual…" He cringed at little points in his answer.

Marik looked at the doctor and decided to try and answer the soon to come questions, "He also threw up tons this morning after only eating a little bit of a bagel. He never really gets sick. At all really. That is why I brought him."

The doctor nodded and wrote down more notes, "Hmm, how peculiar." He looked up from his notes, "I think I know what it is, but it is strange and I'm going to get a nurses opinion first."

The doctor exited the room and came back in several minutes with a nurse. She had short black hair and piercing blue eyes wearing a white coat as everyone else did but hers seemed too big on her small figure. Her face lit up at seeing the two together in the room, "Oh my gosh! You were not lying, they really are here!"

Bakura rolled his eyes and muttered, "Ugh, fan-girls…"

The doctor looked up from his papers, "Well, we talked it over and you have all the signs."

Looks of suspicion flooded Bakura's face, "Signs of what exactly?"

The young female nurse sprung forward, "Bakura, you're pregnant!"

Bakura's eyes widened at first and then narrowed, "You must be joking."

Dr. Zorens lightly pushed the nurse out of his way, "Well, no, we are not. You have morning sickness and the tiredness, it only makes sense. I've been a doctor for ten years now, I can tell by the signs."

Marik snapped out of stupor, "But Bakura is a **boy**! Trust me, I _know._" Stress was put into how much Marik 'knew' Bakura's gender.

Dr. Zorens nodded, "Yes, I've taken that into account. Obviously the reasoning behind this is the author's wish to write an m-preg. You two should feel honored to be main characters."

Bakura was flabbergasted as he looked his hand that was currently clutching his stomach, "B-but, this c-c-can't be happening!" he stuttered.

"Oh, but it is! I wonder what it will be!" The nurse seemed ecstatic.

The white haired yami stood up, it looked as if he had gotten a little bit of a grip on things, "I don't want a child." He was staring at the floor so his hair had covered his face, "I… will abort! I don't care if it seems wrong!" Bakura looked to be trembling.

Marik rushed over to Bakura's side, trying to calm him. The nurse seemed taken aback from Bakura's wish for abortion, she looked to the doctor for advice. Dr. Zorens only shook his head and started, "I'm sorry, you would ruin the plot if we gave you an abortion."

Bakura's fist clenched, "I don't care!"

"I can't even give one to you if I wanted to; abortions in males haven't exactly been invented yet. The author is rather intent on keeping you pregnant." Dr. Zorens stated, "All I can do is give you some medication that can help you not throw everything up that you just ate. That symptom should also go away with some time as well and you will need to come in for check-ups on the baby."

Bakura ended up freezing. He held no emotion on his face and Marik had to make the next appointment. He was actually a little happy that Bakura was having a baby, because it was not just Bakura's baby, it was also going to be his baby. They were going to be parents, the both of them, together. But Bakura had been speechless and now as they sat in the car, on a busy road, stopped in the middle of traffic. Marik looked over to Bakura who still had the emotionless mask covering his face, "Bakura, you haven't talked since we left doctors…"

Nothing. "Come on, Bakura, it isn't that bad. I mean, at least you aren't dying. That would be like getting five wedgies. The ultimate school bullying crime…"

Nothing. "Why aren't you talking? You're never _this_ moody. And trust me; I know how moody you _can_ get."

Nothing. "Bakura, I want to know what's bugging you. I think I deserve to know, it is going to be _our_ kid."

Bakura looked at Marik, "How in the world can I be a parent?"

Marik scratched his head, "Um, well, when you have the baby, you will be a parent!"

"No, I hardly remember when I had parents of my own. How can** I** be a parent? I never wanted to have children because… I don't want… I don't want to let any of them down." He proceeded to put his face into his hands, looking entirely defeated.

Marik glanced in front of him to realize traffic had begun to move again and he lifted his foot off the brake, "I think you could be a good parent. You're kind to the people you love, like how you're kind to me. You wouldn't let down someone you love. I know it."

Bakura seemed to look more in thought. Marik decided to give his boyfriend some space. It probably was still big news to Bakura and lots of time should be given to him so he could think it over. "Marik?"

The said Egyptian was surprised at Bakura's reaching out, "Um, yeah?"

"How are we going to tell Melvin and Ryou?"

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><p>They sat on Marik's bed in the dorm. It was beginning to become a usual thing that Bakura slept with Marik at night. They sat there waiting for the other roommates to return. First Melvin came and then Ryou. Marik told them to sit down and listen carefully since the news was going to be shocking.<p>

Ryou started, "Please tell me you are not making us stay up late to announce he has the flu, I have some major tests tomorrow!"

Marik looked to Bakura, "Do you want to tell them?"

"I don't care."

"Okay. Well, Melvin, Ryou, Bakura is pregnant!" Marik announced.

Melvin started clapping and showing an enthusiasm like Marik's where Ryou's jaw dropped, "You must be kidding, first the maternity leave and now you are pregnant? This joke stopped being funny a week ago at most."

"I wish he was kidding…" Bakura sighed.

"Well, Bakura and I assumed you wouldn't believe us, so we got this pregnancy test to prove it!" Marik looked overjoyed, "Bakura just has to pee on it!" He announced while pulling out a small box.

He handed it over to Bakura, "Well, go do your stuff." Marik proceeded to shoo Bakura away.

As Bakura went to the dorm bathroom, Melvin went Marik, "Does this mean I will be an uncle?"

"You know what? I think it does!"

Ryou felt like he was watching some baby shower party, all he needed was Marik and Melvin to hold hands and jump around in circles cheering for Bakura and this soon to come, 'baby'. Soon enough Bakura exited the bathroom, "Just so you know Marik, I hated this idea from the start." was his grumbled statement as he handed over the stick-like device.

Marik waved the at home testing kit in the air, trying to get it to read faster like in those movies. Then he looked at the little gray oval, "It's positive! Look! IT IS POSITIVE!"

Ryou grabbed the test and took a look for himself, "No way, this one must be defective! I want to see another!" Ryou seemed shocked but also seemed to be losing his cool at the same time.

"Well Fluffy, you know what this means!" He pulled out a bottle of prune juice, "DRINK UP!"

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><p><em>Poor Bakura. Poor, poor Bakura.<em>

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><p><strong>Please Review everybody! Chapter three should come out soon!<strong>


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